Roller(bag) Derby

She's preparing for battle. She buttons up her blue crisp ugly uniform. Rolls up those 4 day-worn-in-tattered-nylons. Puts on those hooker heels. Tightens her grip on the Rollerboard/Rollerbag. And with a glint of revenge in her eye..... SHHHEEEEEE'SS OOOOOOOOOFFFF!! Down the Airport terminal she goes!! Weaving in & out of obstacles; aka annoying passengers!! Dodging stupid questions by inexperienced travelers; aka annoying passengers!! Stopping briefly to grab a Starbucks; YES!! Trying to time arriving at the gate perfectly so she isn't late, but isn't early!! Watch out mother's of crying babies! Watch out people that ring their call buttons!! Watch out people that take smelly shits on the airplane!! SHE. IS. COooooMING!! ...BUT ALAS! The beautiful and heroic F*Bomb comes across... *Dum*Dum*Dum... a freakin passenger standing in the middle of the moving walkway!! :^O (That's a shocked face) Oh No! What is the F*Bomb to do?! Her only choice. (this is where the "glint of revenge" comes into play) Run his ass over! Knock him over with the Rollerbag! Go sista Go! (And the crowd goes wild! YEAhhhhh!) Nothing can stop her!! Not even your toes!! They are mere casualties in the line of duty!
Moral of the Story: WALK/RUN on the left hand side of the moving walkway and STAND on the right side. DON'T take up the whooooole walkway. We will run yo ass over & enjoy it... so beware of Roller(bag) Derby.